Limeyscopes
For the MONTH of JUNE 2010

Aries:  It would be a good idea this month to always wear matching socks. Because you never know.

Taurus: Giving a girl crackers does not constitute the dinner part of 'dinner and sex'.

Gemini:  Look for yourself in Everything. After all, you're a Gemini.

Cancer : Relax. It's always hot on your birthday, but always too cold to swim.

Leo:  Happiness is....free ice cream from the Predasaurus.

Virgo: Isn't it time to refill your ink cartridge? Don't cheat. Get the good one.

Libra: Yes, it's true. They're all in love with you. Every last one.

Scorpio:  Sometimes, ya gotta know when to hold 'em, and when to fold 'em. Just sayin'.

Sagittarius: When in doubt, take the stairs.

Capricorn: Don't always follow the back. Buy your guitar hero and rock it out.

Aquarius: Sure, the"Puffin Experience" sounds cool, but um, it's $8o bucks. And your car needs brakes.

Pisces: Go back and get her. You know you want to.

Note: These horoscopes are for entertainment purposes only. Any following of these means you need serious help - be careful that you don't end up 37 years old living in your Saturn with a cat in the vacant lot behind the walmart.